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Before you dive into the details of your next presentation and start preparing your PowerPoint and stressing about how it will go…

Stop.

Ask yourself a more important question.

A question that far-too-few people ask.

How will I earn their attention?

Because if they aren’t paying attention, your message will be lost.

This has always been an important question, but in our frantic, internet and gadget-filled lives, it is now absolutely critical.

If you don’t earn their attention, email, Twitter or something else will.

Here is the bottom line – the best presentation in the world is meaningless if no one is listening.
Answering our question then: “how will I earn their attention?” is critical to our communication success (and let’s face it, our ego too). Here are some ways to do exactly that…

It’s about earning, not getting. Let’s start with the question itself. Most people, if this even crossed their minds, would think about how they can get someone’s attention. You really want to earn it. You don’t want people to feel tricked or duped. You don’t want to get their attention and then not deliver (more on that later). If you want people to put down their phones and listen to your message, you must come to this task with the goal to serve them and their needs. Think about how to earn their attention, which requires you to do the next point…

Put yourself in their shoes. This isn’t about what excites you about the topic or what you think is important. (You’ve been to plenty of presentations where the expert cared, but you saw no relevance, right?).

Repeat after me: This isn’t about me; it’s about my audience. So get to know their situation, their needs, their interest, and their perspective. There is more you want to know (and I will highlight them before we are done), but this is a good start. Remember you are giving the presentation for their benefit, so everything about your design and delivery needs to be about them.

Attention follows interest. Think about it. You will partly watch the TV while you do something else, until YOUR show is on. You will listen-with-one-ear to the lunchtime conversation until it is important to you.

Attention is a valuable commodity; it is the use of the finite resource of our time. You will earn people’s interest once they are interested in what the topic means to them. Which means you must put yourself in their shoes and get to know their needs so you can address them directly. When people know that what is coming is of interest to them, they will listen. So make sure you let them see that connection.

The data alone won’t do it. Sorry to all of the data wonks and people who consider themselves critical thinkers; the data is important, but alone it is never enough. Human beings are emotional beings and so to earn attention (and therefore interest), we must do more than craft the perfect logical argument or the most beautiful pie chart. Let people see, or help them discover what is in it for them, and why this should matter to them. Think about human needs and not just logic. When you do that, you will earn their attention and be more excited to share with them too.

Pain before pleasure. Study after study shows that people would rather avoid loss than hope for gain. We remember negative things longer than positive ones. We buy more aspirin than we do vitamins. So when people see how your message will remove pain, stress or frustration, they will be more attentive. If you can help them avoid uncomfortable or unsavory things, they will more likely be with you. This one is hard to remember if you are a generally positive person, or if you are motivated by the possibility of gain. Even if that is you, remember the mantra, remove pain first, then extol the positive possibilities.

It’s the message, not the tactic. There are plenty of tactics that might be a big enough surprise to get people to listen to you at the start. While a tactic like the right joke, a simple magic trick or banging your shoe on the table (a la Nikita Khrushchev), might be enough of a pattern interrupt for people to look up and listen, it isn’t enough to hold them with you for the message you want to share. After all, you don’t really want them to remember the joke but miss your message, do you?

For your next presentation, start with these ideas and your strategies for using them, not by firing up PowerPoint. It will seem like it is taking you longer at first, but you will get a much better result when you are through.

The question is: are toys really the right kids Christmas presents? The simple answer is a resounding yes.

Welcome to the age whereby your kid’s eyes are a little more inquisitive and they are, in general, far more savvy of the world around them than we ever were as kids. Their minds are being shaped by everything around them at an alarmingly fast rate, and it’s important to make sure that those surroundings enhance and promote good character traits.

Creative Development

Since the beginning of time, children have loved toys, and of course in more recent times, they love to play video games. Whether you are talking about childhood in your grandparent’s time, your time, or today, imagination is still the greatest gift that we can give our children, and toys are of great assistance to the creative development of any child.

With such an abundance of toys on the market, it gets harder each year to choose which are the best toys for our little ones. The first place to start would be to ask your child to write a Christmas list. Go over the list and fine tune it to ensure that as well as having entertainment value, “want” value and that it will make your child extol your praises to all their friends, that everything has a positive learning, or playful, experience. Avoid buying anything with an implication of violence or negative influences – traits which have unfortunately made their way into some of our children’s toys.

Promote Healthy Competition and Creativity

Contrary to popular belief, video games do have the capacity to offer a very positive learning experience if they are chosen wisely. They have the ability to promote healthy competition and creativity, and some online games offer your child the ability to make friends with other players around the world.

While there are those that frown on kids video games, remember that the skills gained by the player are transferable into everyday life. Competition, creativity, persistence, social skills, determination, turn taking and patience are all skills we want our children to learn, and why not kill two birds with one stone and teach these skills via a medium your child is keenly interested in? After all, isn’t the first vehicle of learning for a child through play? I guess video games present the same vehicle, albeit for today’s child.

Toys and games are terrific kids Christmas presents because they also promote sharing whilst attaining personal enjoyment. Some toys, like educational toys, are primarily offered to promote learning, while others promote creativity and problem solving. It’s really quite amazing how we can align many toys to the building blocks of life with a little imagination. A karaoke unit, for example, may be instrumental in helping a child to overcome shyness, while a Barbie doll will allow a child to venture into the depths of their own imagination.

It is essential that you follow any age recommendations given by the manufacturer, as these are included for the safety of your child.

Never forget that one of the best presents you could ever give your kids comes in the form of unconditional love. While it’s not something we can wrap up in pretty paper, and it can’t be tangibly seen, it’s one of the most powerful kids Christmas presents that can be felt.

Hey… don’t forget the batteries!

As you go about your workday, do you take time to negotiate the obstacles you regularly face or do you just walk away in disgust?

Please don’t walk away – come back and negotiate. Almost everything, in every aspect of your life, is negotiable. Having effective negotiation skills is the key. Especially in these difficult economic times, your ability to negotiate may mean the difference between success or ruin.

We negotiate transactions and conflicts – everything from which restaurant we choose for lunch to how to structure our businesses and our lives. These are the nine things you need to know before you sit down for your next negotiation.

1. Every negotiation brings an opportunity for meaningful and positive interaction. So, instead of seeing your negotiations as stressful hurdles, view them as possibility seeking endeavors.

2. Negotiation is a process, not an event. A diagram of what a negotiation should look like includes four fluid phases. The first phase is individual planning, preparation, and analysis. This is followed by relationship building; then an information exchange that includes a first offer, persuasion, concessions and compromise; and finally, agreement.

3. Before you ever meet the person on the other side, prepare. Do your homework. Find out as much as you can about your fellow negotiator and what his interests might be. Learn the facts and know your alternatives.

4. Be ready to deal with conflict by knowing yourself and your natural responses to conflict. If you are afraid of conflict you may not be able to move through a difficult, but necessary, discussion. Often it is best to respond without reacting. And while that may not be easy when you are emotionally triggered, it can bring you significant benefits.

5. Work with the person on the other side, not against them. Use your best communication skills, be clear and concise. Ask open-ended questions, then be quiet and listen. Be flexible and open to unseen possibilities.

6. Seek to understand the cultural and personality factors that may impact the process – but don’t stereotype or pigeonhole.

7. Be prepared for dirty negotiation tactics. Dirty tactics fall into three categories deliberate deception, psychological manipulation, and positional pressure maneuvers. When faced with a dirty negotiator (for instance the car salesman who leaves you sitting in a room for long periods of time) you have three options. You can identify and confront the dirty tactic, you can fall prey to it, or you can walk away. Make your decision based on the circumstances and your motivation. Remember, you choose your response.

8. Power balancing is a critical component of all negotiations. When negotiating always consider possible power imbalances and the differences between having ‘power-over’ (coercion, control, and dominance) and having the ‘power-to’ (the ability to act, to influence, to say no). Additionally, take into account the power source, which might be money, position, rank, or the personal power that emanates from a person’s individual characteristics. Finally, keep in mind that often a more motivated negotiator can overcome a lack of power.

9. There are five basic negotiation styles: competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and collaborating. Each style has strengths and weaknesses and can be effective at certain times, in certain situations, and with certain individuals. While we may each have a preferred style knowing when and how to use each style appropriately can produce the most successful results.

a) Competing works when winning is the goal and winning is more important then the relationship with the person on the other side.

b) Avoiding is effective when neither the goal nor the relationship with the person on the other side is important. When it’s misused important goals are put at risk and the chance to improve the connection with the person on the other side is missed. So use this strategy with care.

c) Accommodating works best when the goal is to maintain relationships and please the other side.

d) Compromising is effective when you want to find a quick balance between meeting goals and building or maintaining a relationship.

e) Collaborating is effective when it is critical to both meet one’s own goals and to improve a relationship. While this may sound like the ideal strategy it is not appropriate for every situation; collaboration can be time consuming and often requires a commitment to the process that is not realistic unless a serious level of connection exists between the parties.

Finally, here is your homework: keep learning about negotiation and yourself as a negotiator. And, then, please, write to me and let me know your findings.